Welcome to the first instalment of Smallville's characters through the ages. The first one will be about our favorite Amnesiacgirl.
She was presented to us as the next best thing after apple pie. Yet, more than half of her onscreen time, she is Brainiac or Amnesiac. She has superpowers but doesn't fight. She was there to bring some girl power but all we got was OMG!boobies.
Let's take a look on her time on Smallville:
1. Her first deed and appearance on Smallville and it was grave mistake. At least that's the way I refer to saving Lex. Though we shall forgive it to her since she didn't know who baldie is at that time or later for the fact. She is little slow on the up take when it comes to villains and Jimmy Olsen.
Note that at the end of episode, she already managed to find fitting and by todays standards fashionable outfit. But didn't get boots. Weird much?
2. Second time, she definitely gained plus point from me. K.O.ing Lois always gets you plus points even if you're puppies killer.
And here we have our obligatory check out of her by our own 'grieving after Lana' Clark Kent. Her cousin, by the way. Luckily, they didn't take it farther than that. It would not be only squicky but also illegal in several states.
Then she goes away to scare few kids at playground. Because, you know, if you have almost genial brain, the best way how to look for your cousin is to wander around random playgrounds.
3. Now, Kara as part of Kent family, though we have never seen her interact with Martha or any other potential relatives, and with new 'Chloe made' identity enters corn pageant. Why? So AlMiles could have boobies. Ehm, I meant to say, show girl power during the final fight with other girls. And because Kara is Supergirl she managed between it all ogle, and be ogled by, Jimmy Olsen. Love and chemistry on first sight through camera. If you look behind the hotness that's Karimmy, you can see Jimmy's girlfriend and best friend of Kara's cousin that accidentally is the same person who made Kara's new identity. Can you say gratitude?
4. Kara, as every women who isn't named Chloe, gets a job in Talon. You know the place that's owned by Lex Luthor. Wonder what was Kara and Clark thinking. Well, I know. Clark - Lana and pie. Kara - Jimmy and ... . I don't think her brain can actually work with more things at one time.
5. Kara spends more of her time with Jimmy, her comic books canon boyfriend. While they are blissfully happy, fans are gaging because Jimmy is still with his Smallville canon girlfriend Chloe.
You will note that even if they believe there's amazing chemistry between them, they look together more like two fourteen years old on their first date.
6. Then, there was the thing with Clark and Martian Manhunter. She used her body, not her super brain, to get what she needed. Don't you just love how is Smallville treating women?
7. Then Kara follows her cousin's style of work and get herself caught. She remembers few things about just how much is House of El really psychopathic family and that it wouldn't hurt if they took few hours in family counselling before their planet was destroyed.
8. Kara lose her powers, memory and personality. When fans and Clark forget she has ever been there, we see her again. And surprise, surprise, she meets her personal stalker/psychopath. We also learn that Kara and Lois are good friends, although they never had one scene together.
9. Lex takes over the newly vacated post of her personal stalker.
10. For no obvious reason Clark, Lana, Lionel, Martha, Shelby and the cows decided to lie her and not tell her the true. Fans can only assume that AlMiles were missing their secrets and lies. Which leads us to Kara being Lex's new mansion mate.
11. Still amnesiac Kara goes with Jimmy to see One Republic and it seems like she lost not only her memory but also the famous chemistry she had with Jimmy 'I like to leave girls who lost memory, claiming we lost spark, so I could run back to my ex' Olsen. So that way ends Kara's one, arguably only, story arc on Smallville.
12. Chloe and Lana get Kara away from mansion and to the Fortress where lives useless IA. Kara gets her memory back, saves Clark, try to teach him fly and fails miserably. By now, even the slowest of fans realized that the motto of House of El is 'We are sexy losers'.
13. Kara thinks it's her mistake that Lana got brainiaced and no one really knows why she thinks so. Her feelings leads her to look for Brainiac. Guess what? She fails miserably.
14. Next time we see her doesn't count. It's AU created for Clark when he was too mopey and whinny to actually try and save the world.
15. No, it's not Kara. It's Spike.
16. The last time we see her is when she is locked in the thing (I forgot it's name and I'm way too lazy to look for it).
So that's the end of the journey of the famous Amnesiacgirl. Girl that even though she was there for eleven episodes, AlMiles and writers didn't bother to actually grace her with some real story arc.
She was presented to us as the next best thing after apple pie. Yet, more than half of her onscreen time, she is Brainiac or Amnesiac. She has superpowers but doesn't fight. She was there to bring some girl power but all we got was OMG!boobies.
Let's take a look on her time on Smallville:
1. Her first deed and appearance on Smallville and it was grave mistake. At least that's the way I refer to saving Lex. Though we shall forgive it to her since she didn't know who baldie is at that time or later for the fact. She is little slow on the up take when it comes to villains and Jimmy Olsen.
Note that at the end of episode, she already managed to find fitting and by todays standards fashionable outfit. But didn't get boots. Weird much?
2. Second time, she definitely gained plus point from me. K.O.ing Lois always gets you plus points even if you're puppies killer.
And here we have our obligatory check out of her by our own 'grieving after Lana' Clark Kent. Her cousin, by the way. Luckily, they didn't take it farther than that. It would not be only squicky but also illegal in several states.
Then she goes away to scare few kids at playground. Because, you know, if you have almost genial brain, the best way how to look for your cousin is to wander around random playgrounds.
3. Now, Kara as part of Kent family, though we have never seen her interact with Martha or any other potential relatives, and with new 'Chloe made' identity enters corn pageant. Why? So AlMiles could have boobies. Ehm, I meant to say, show girl power during the final fight with other girls. And because Kara is Supergirl she managed between it all ogle, and be ogled by, Jimmy Olsen. Love and chemistry on first sight through camera. If you look behind the hotness that's Karimmy, you can see Jimmy's girlfriend and best friend of Kara's cousin that accidentally is the same person who made Kara's new identity. Can you say gratitude?
4. Kara, as every women who isn't named Chloe, gets a job in Talon. You know the place that's owned by Lex Luthor. Wonder what was Kara and Clark thinking. Well, I know. Clark - Lana and pie. Kara - Jimmy and ... . I don't think her brain can actually work with more things at one time.
5. Kara spends more of her time with Jimmy, her comic books canon boyfriend. While they are blissfully happy, fans are gaging because Jimmy is still with his Smallville canon girlfriend Chloe.
You will note that even if they believe there's amazing chemistry between them, they look together more like two fourteen years old on their first date.
6. Then, there was the thing with Clark and Martian Manhunter. She used her body, not her super brain, to get what she needed. Don't you just love how is Smallville treating women?
7. Then Kara follows her cousin's style of work and get herself caught. She remembers few things about just how much is House of El really psychopathic family and that it wouldn't hurt if they took few hours in family counselling before their planet was destroyed.
8. Kara lose her powers, memory and personality. When fans and Clark forget she has ever been there, we see her again. And surprise, surprise, she meets her personal stalker/psychopath. We also learn that Kara and Lois are good friends, although they never had one scene together.
9. Lex takes over the newly vacated post of her personal stalker.
10. For no obvious reason Clark, Lana, Lionel, Martha, Shelby and the cows decided to lie her and not tell her the true. Fans can only assume that AlMiles were missing their secrets and lies. Which leads us to Kara being Lex's new mansion mate.
11. Still amnesiac Kara goes with Jimmy to see One Republic and it seems like she lost not only her memory but also the famous chemistry she had with Jimmy 'I like to leave girls who lost memory, claiming we lost spark, so I could run back to my ex' Olsen. So that way ends Kara's one, arguably only, story arc on Smallville.
12. Chloe and Lana get Kara away from mansion and to the Fortress where lives useless IA. Kara gets her memory back, saves Clark, try to teach him fly and fails miserably. By now, even the slowest of fans realized that the motto of House of El is 'We are sexy losers'.
13. Kara thinks it's her mistake that Lana got brainiaced and no one really knows why she thinks so. Her feelings leads her to look for Brainiac. Guess what? She fails miserably.
14. Next time we see her doesn't count. It's AU created for Clark when he was too mopey and whinny to actually try and save the world.
15. No, it's not Kara. It's Spike.
16. The last time we see her is when she is locked in the thing (I forgot it's name and I'm way too lazy to look for it).
So that's the end of the journey of the famous Amnesiacgirl. Girl that even though she was there for eleven episodes, AlMiles and writers didn't bother to actually grace her with some real story arc.
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- Music:The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)
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